Oleandrin (because WTAF?) ☡ virtual political conventions (because enough Zoom already) ☡ The university admissions scam (because it’s all a scam) ☡ Pumpkin products’ premature appearance (because it’s never too early)
The craven, pusillanimous gutting of the US Post office (because I’m too close) ☡ Bon Appetit (because I lost my appetite) ☡ Reels (because I was just starting to get TikTok) ☡ Ellen DeGeneres (because she’s always rubbed me the wrong way) ☡ Apple v. whoever it is this week (because destroying the village to save it)
The Trolls Dolls’ “misplaced button” (because mistakes were made) ☡ The NRA (because crossing-fingers-don’t-wanna-jinx-it) ☡ The Cheetos mac and cheese line (because guilty of impure thoughts already) ☡ Stella Immanuel (because enough terrible doctors in my life)
Alien DNA (because humans are terrible enough on their own) ☡ Demon seed (because Ivanka, Don Jr., Eric) ☡ TikTok (because the natural immunity of age) ☡ FaGoogAmApple’s testimony to Congress (because concern theater) ☡ Resumption of baseball, basketball, soccer, etc. (because chess, the royal sport, never went away)
QAnon (I just can’t even, not this week) ☡ Kim & Kanye (mental and marriage illness isn’t my thing) ☡ The “Washington Football Team” (because I don’t want to jinx it) ☡ Cabin crashing bears (too barbearic) ☡ the emasculation of the CDC (CDC no evil…) ☡ Superman’s new black suit (I can’t Cavill with it) ☡ Trader Joe’s rebranding (An Eskimo Pie by a better name is still sweet ice cream action)
People being yanked off public streets by unmarked federal law enforcement officers with no identification (because this isn’t the place and I assume the neckbeards addicted to the 2nd Amendment to form a militia will obviously be protecting these citizens) ☡ Princess Beatrice’s wedding (because who?) ☡ Baseball bans (because that’s a sport?) ☡ Twitter hack (because Breaking Bird isn’t bad) ☡ The [forced] opening of the American school (because eternal cravenness)
In the zeitgeist, but not here → The Harpers letter whingeing about cancel culture (because it doesn’t exist) ☡ The NYT and others now capitalizing Black when describing people (because duh…and the more interesting question is, should we capitalize White?) ☡ Coronavirus (because who needs more?) ☡ Trump’s Mask (because which one?) ☡ Kanye (because come on) ☡ TiKTok.